Blog
Non-violent communication
I saw a clip on facebook of a kid bullying another kid on a playground. The father of the victim ran towards the bully and slapped him hard in the face, upon which the bully's father arrived on the scene only to get slapped as well. Then two more men who came running got smacked by the guy. The people who posted the clip clearly thought
it was funny, and commented, "Yes, a dad would go through fire for his kids!"
I didn't like that at all. In a world where so much havoc is wreaked by people with anger issues, this clip spreads the message that it's okay and even funny to use violence. Yet violence is nothing but a sign of weakness and
serious insecurity, and it never solves anything.
Had this father calmly sat down with the bully and asked him what was wrong and why he was behaving like that, he might have created a shift in that kid. Maybe the kid was a victim of some kind of abuse himself, and bullying was his way of dealing with it. Maybe there was no one in the kid's world who ever took the time to listen to him. Maybe he was constantly being rejected or ridiculed by the other kids.
Whatever the reason for someone's bullying — it's always a cry for love, a cry for recognition.
Any time we are triggered by violent behavior, we should try to remain the observer who sees the wounded person hiding inside the aggressor. Not easy to do when heavy emotions besiege us, but it's the only way out.
Taking some deep breaths is helpful. We can then send light from our heart to the person in pain, even while
firmly expressing our disapproval of the violence.
Love is the only healer, the only answer to any situation. Ever.
If there's one subject that kids should be taught in school, it's the art of non-violent communication.
It's the foundation of the New World.